Thursday, November 28, 2013

Assisted Living: Before Signing Move In Contract

Assisted living is not inexpensive. The charges are for "rent" and for "add ons" (personal service charges). Be sure of what is included in the rent charge and what is considered 'extra' -- it varies. Dispensing medications will be an extra, for example.

Also, be aware that you'll likely pay an amount equal to one month rent in advance and it'll be labeled as some sort of community fee. [Note: the value you receive varies from place to place. Met their activities director, if they have one.]

Also know that you may be liable for a penalty equal to one month's rent if you move your loved one out for a non-medical reason (say, if you choose to move your loved one to a different facility). These things are in the contract -- so take your contract home and read it before signing it. The longer the contract, the more "thorough" you need to be in reading and understanding it.
[Note: Beware a place that uses a sexy young lady to sell you their package. Finding a good facility is like finding a good used car. It can be done, but you have to do some tire kicking. Elder care can be a real racket.]

To help avoid being scammed, I suggest you let a senior adviser help you. I used one from "A Place For Mom" to help me find a facility for my mother. Simply contact them and you'll be off to a good start. They will prove invaluable.They earn a fee if you choose a place they refer you to (much as a rental agent does when you are searching for a home for yourself). Even if you don't utilize them in this capacity, their website forum and newsletters will be a good resource.
They found me a place for my mother that gave us a huge price break simply because they had vacancies they needed to fill-- and the quality of care is even better than the "expensive" place where I'd had my mother.

My personal situation was that my mother was not easy to deal with. Instead of being able to transition my mother in a sane manner from her home, I was forced into using my time in crisis management until she deteriorated to the point that I could move her without her fighting it excessively. As a consequence, I wound up putting her in an overpriced assisted living facility (that also had a memory care unit, in case that soon became necessary). I'd not had the time nor the energy to properly educate myself. As a consequence, we burned through a lot of money and were headed toward a Medicaid application -- until I later found a better option after the initial move.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Marital Arguments & Your Health:

It’s how you fight, and how you
react to and resolve conflict, that matters.
 And, the impact on your
physical health varies dramatically,
depending on whether you’re a man or a woman. 
One fighting style in particular
garnered special attention.
So-called “self-silencing” – keeping quiet
during a fight – is especially damaging to
 women’s health, whereas
bottling it up did ‘not’ have a measurable
 impact on the physiology of men…
women who don’t speak their minds have a higher
mortality rate than women who always
 spoke their minds (depression,
eating disorders, heart disease). 
Additionally, the way you interact
during marital arguments is as important
a heart risk factor as whether
you smoke or have high cholesterol. 
For women, whether a husband’s
arguing style is warm or hostile had
 the biggest impact on her heart health.
Interestingly, the level of warmth or
hostility had no impact on men’s heart health. 
Instead, the men’s heart risk
increased if disagreements with his
wife involved a ‘battle for control’
– regardless of whether he, or his wife,
was the one vying for control.